This little encounter is dedicated to all of us who have ever been totally taken off guard by someone or some thing while minding our own business in our treestands. Whether it's a swooping Hawk, Barred Owl, clumsy Turkeys attempting to leave their roost or the more common little gray furred menace called a squirrel. If you've answered yes to any or all of the above then I'm sure you can relate to what I'm about to explain.
We all love to use big branching Oaks to put treestands in. Using common sense, we all check these potential stands for hollow's, nests and bee hives before we deem them ours. Having done this, I started building my stand that day and finished 2 days later.
When I picked this tree I knew I'd have to let the pest population know that I was staking a claim and noone else was welcome when I was aboard. There were a lot of big squirrels that I'd have to fend off from time to time and if they behaved they just might be okayed to sun themselves up above me at dawn without any objection. After a full year of frustration and staredowns I figured I had them pretty well trained not to creep up and bother me when I was there.
But that was just for that year because the very first stand the following year was when I crossed paths with 'Java The Hut'. This nearly rabbit sized, overweight, mean tempered and extremely lazy gray didn't know I had signed a lease and as I was about to find out, he or she didn't care.
I got in my stand around 2 that day and was fired up over my chances. I let 2 good bucks walk last year from here and was hoping to catch one feeding on acorns early in the season. I had squirrels around me from the get go and for the most part the ones I had educated last year ran when they saw my silhouette; all but this plump one that kept slowly chowing down as it circled the tree. It circled for about a half hour. Somehow I lost sight of it when I got distracted by some noises in the distance. When that turned out to be nothing I looked again for 'Java'. Thankful that he had left I settled back in to my seat. Things were peaceful and fairly quite.
Then POW, he's a foot from my head. It's claws sent bark flying as I jerked my head away from the trunk and watched him park himself under my permanent treestand. He screamed bloody murder and his high pitched churps got the whole hillside worked up. I knew it wasn't so much scared as it was mad.. which made me edgy. The screaming continued until I stomped on the stand. 
I was shocked as I could hear this ball of gray fury tear at the underside of the stand. Then the noise started again but by now I had pulled an arrow from my quiver with full intent to use it any way I saw fit. The jump to the ground would be in excess of 16 feet so that was ruled out for now. So, what did I do? I let him carry on...10 minutes later he got quiet and I got more nervous. Then out of sheer anger I jabbed underneath with the broadhead hoping he'd take off. Phhtt.
It was like a huge Walleye had grabbed my bait and was trying to throw the hook. Now I'm worried there's something else wrong with Java. Rabies? Bad woodtick? Emotional problems? Man, this just isn't normal. I let the arrow go and watched it as it still kept being attacked. I expected him to come flying out from underneath to sink his teeth somewhere in me so I grabbed another arrow.
An uncomfortable silence took over. Niether of us moving-breathing...blinking. Just 2 statues, one above, one below.
Since the broadhead had no impact, what was there left to do? I had flashes of hearing cricketts as long as this was going on. I made a decision to shove my leather boot underneath quick to see if it would lash out...all I got was a low growl. Again I waited. Now I just wanted to get down and leave. He wasn't budging and I was trapped. I let my bow hang and jumped. I'm no action hero but as soon as I hit I was on my feet. I looked up and there he was..on top of the treestand swishing his tail....I walked home, grabbed the .22 to put an end to it. When I got back he had disappeared. I wondered if the next time I saw him, he'd have fresh tattoo's and flash gang signs as he approached...